i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why do cheetos always look like penises
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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