You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
