Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
