Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
