Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
