Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
