I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
