Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
