ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Randomize
