I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
