ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
