when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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