Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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