do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
