so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
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Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
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Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.