grandma shit on top of the toilet
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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