i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
