Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
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no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
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Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up