i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread