I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low