ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro