I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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