i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
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After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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