Got a toothbrush?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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