i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
