Non-Jews are for practice
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
