Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
