I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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