Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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