Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
