Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
