I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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