I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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