some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.