love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.