Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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