How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
