Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
