so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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