she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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