So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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