oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
