Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
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imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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