Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...

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  (586): Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him... http://tfl.nu/q62j
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Which ones?

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  (484): What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips? (610): Which ones? http://tfl.nu/2pkr
  Replies (20) Good night (2787) Bad night (494)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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  (617): I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot. http://tfl.nu/tunm
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.

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  (817): Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes. http://tfl.nu/1ozx
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"

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  (217): Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet" http://tfl.nu/r96p
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing

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  (540): i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing http://tfl.nu/o77s
  Replies (18) Good night (2531) Bad night (1396) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He made me a "booty call of the year" award.

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  (360): He made me a "booty call of the year" award. http://tfl.nu/7b1z
  Replies (15) Good night (3676) Bad night (1155) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.

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  (570): I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk. http://tfl.nu/mwln
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite

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  (573): I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite http://tfl.nu/v7zy
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.

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  (781): MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/90bv
  Replies (14) Good night (1978) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all

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  (831): I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all http://tfl.nu/rp5b
  Replies (4) Good night (1289) Bad night (340)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"

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  (478): It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT" http://tfl.nu/0wpw
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends

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  (908): Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends http://tfl.nu/ooil
  Replies (3) Good night (522) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.

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  (562): Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning. http://tfl.nu/rdpv
  Replies (0) Good night (288) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk

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  (850): He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really. (412): And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk http://tfl.nu/08bn
  Replies (7) Good night (1453) Bad night (219)

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