we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
