my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
two words: eviction party
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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