Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
