He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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