she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
