Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
