i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I cut my penus on the lid.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
