hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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