Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
this will be a night to untag.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There's always time for handjobs
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
