That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
