You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
