home. puking in laundry basket.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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