1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
