At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
