You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
