im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
