We're like a lot better than the average bears
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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