I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
