my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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