32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
