Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
