we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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