Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Of course I have a pirate flag
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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