I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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