Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
