smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
