Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
