the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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